I chose the title of this blog to go with a Beatles song from 1969. The title made sense in October of 2009 because fighting cancer might be a drawn out challenge. I take inspiration where I can, and hope to motivate with my musings about music, my status and anything else related to life. Anyone can post comments; no sign in or account is needed, just click on the comments section towards the bottom of the post and write me a note. A splendid time is guaranteed for all. Live Happy- Greg
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." Mark Twain
We decided to take a little R&R and travel Wednesday, and ended up at Edgefield Manor in Troutdale Oregon for a couple of days. We were able to visit my sister Cathy and Yvonne's Mom during our Oregon sojourn. The Inn has a nice "soaking pool" that people like me can use without worry since it is only about 90-92 degrees instead of the super heated hot tub pools which are over 100 degrees. I ended up needing to do some sitting more than walking so it all worked out. I was thinking about songs I have not heard in awhile, for some reason I couldn't get mid-late year Fleetwood Mac out of my mind. Everyone has heard something from Rumors, Go Your Own Way, Dreams, etc. Then I remembered hearing Lindsey Buckingham singing and playing guitar as only he can on songs like Trouble, and Big Love. I chose Big Love, because I have so much love I want to express to Yvonne and everyone else who stays with me and keeps me going.
RN Genie happily releasing me from St Joes
After listening to the song and amazing guitar work, here's to those out there who give Big Love everyday! We are home now, and looking forward to a week with only one scheduled lab test and no other medical appointments. I was only in the hospital for three days.
To manage my PE/blood clots I will be taking daily shots for a minimum of six months to diminish the chance of other blood clots and help my current clots disappear. Since my blood is compromised I can't take Cumoudin so it's the Fragmin shots. I feel good overall, a little more tired than normal and still very weak. I was having high heart rate and low blood pressure issues, that has improved too. So have a great weekend, even if it is raining. Break time for me to live happy.
I thought I had used this great A Hard Day's Night tune some time ago, through the power of the interweb I discovered I just talked about it, but never did use it. So here goes! John Lennon was the primary writer and lead singer of course, the song was released in 1964 on the U.K. soundtrack album from A Hard Day's Night, and then on several incantations in the U.S. (b-side of the A Hard Day's Night single, on the U.S. version of the soundtrack and even much later in 1970 on the Hey Jude compilation album.) John received his inspiration from meeting with Bob Dylan and trying to be a little more lyrically mature. Now, why would I pick an upbeat song and blog at night? During the past two weeks I have had a severe stomach ache, weakness, couldn't walk, general pain and a sense of dread, almost an internal depression based on it all. I also started losing a lot of weight. I haven't been able to eat much, this morning weighing 168 pounds; the lowest I have been since probably fourth grade. I had two cancer scans the past two days, an MRI of my head yesterday and a PET scan today. I waited with Yvonne in Dr. Senecal's office at noon today for the results feeling as positive as possible, his entrance to the room said it all. With a qualified smile he reported that my head tumors are all gone and the PET scan showed no cancer growth anywhere in my body! I might have pancreatitis, (inflamed pancreas) that should be treatable by not eating and going on a fluid diet for a little while. *Later I discovered I had a Pulmonary Embolism or blod clot in the lung. I was admitted to St. Joseph's Hospital room 10C4, had a PICC line inserted in my arm and am on the way to feeling better. Thank you for all of the prayers, motivation, and sincere messages! Like Lou Gehrig said, I feel like the luckiest man on the face of the earth right about now.
Please check out the song, bear with the B&W the tune has some great harmonizing, you can learn Portuguese, and even see George dance. LIVE HAPPY! My room phone is (253) 426-4101, then ask for 10C4.
Here we are, summer is officially over and we move on to hopefully a pleasant Fall for most of us. When I first started to blog about life with cancer I attempted to find a common theme, end ended up settling on going through The Beatles catalog hopefully song by song. I will admit, I chose a group near and dear to me but also quite prolific song writers keeping me going to infinity and beyond... There are 275 songs attributed to the Beatles, and of course many more songs covered by other artists. I figured I could throw in the odd special interest song, a cover or two, an hell maybe even stretch this blog out for tens of years (Yeah!) There are a few songs I still haven't titled over just jet, one of them being Yer Blues. It's powerful to say the least, but as things have been going lately it seemed to finally fit in during a down time. Please bear with me, give it a listen and know that I am not suicidal and don't want to die. John sings that line in his epic Yer Blues from the Beatles quite a bit. If you really listen to the bizarre lyrics I think John is playing between parody and honest reflection on the way he felt when he wrote this song. It was recorded in England (1968) in a small room making it feel like the old days. The Beatles bumped into each other, recorded strange non-musical sounds, and Ringo later termed it the "Grunge Blues of the 60's" John wrote it while he and the Beatles were in India, Yoko was home in England. After a lot of meditating John came up with trying to lay down a classic blues song and uses some metaphors including rock stars of the day to highlight his points.
Changes to report:
1. We had to cancel a pre-paid trip to Boston and the Northeast to see my Donor Edie, family, friends, and colors!
2. We are re-consolidating some tests which will include an MRI of the head tomorrow, and a PET scan Thursday. The PET detects tumors/growing cancer. Due to unexplained balance loss and additional fatigue Dr. Senecal ordered up this battery to get to the bottom of things.
It's been awhile since I posted, so I will include some music, photos, and news. It is illegal for teachers or public employees to strike, a judge says "get back to work" and yet they still walk the picket lines in Tacoma. Josh Powell takes his two and four year old sons playing in the snow/blizzard and they played, it's just normal winter activity. I meet the second runner-up to "Mrs. Washington" at the Puyallup Fair! At least I have photographic evidence.
Pumpkin Art Alice, John, Greg
As we entered the "Fair" Tuesday with my father, Alice and Yvonne we were met my the second runner up to to Mrs. Washington, and a choice- do I rent a scooter, a wheelchair, or a walker for the day. I made a bold choice to "walk" the fair as I wasn't feeling too chipper. We made most of the fair and almost got caught buying some special Aloe mixture for the amazing low price of... The highlight of the evening was seeing the group Chicago for the first time. Accompanied by the Tacoma Symphony Orchestra, Chicago rocked through most if not all of their big hits. Robert Lamm directed the evening quite well, my voice is still weak from quietly singing along. I think there are four original members still active, comparing to a lot of the groups from the 60's and 70's that is impressive in itself. I am starting the last two days of my first MOAD Chemo session today. I hope it goes better than the first part two weeks ago. My throat is still a mess from radiation (I think) and causing me to seek alternatives to managing the pain or getting to the bottom of the problem. Our summer seems to be over, it was fun while it lasted... My point in all of this is I sometimes feel a little mixed up when asked about my condition or how I feel. Some times I even want to answer with an existential retort when trying to explain day to day things. Chicago (Robert Lamm wrote it in 1969) I think tried to say something similar and craft the song in the Beatles tradition. I included a 1977 cut that turned out much better than my phone video recorder from the concert. Live Happy!
Hey all! It's of course the day before our national day of remembrance. I have already heard from some of the folks saying we should combine the 11th with the 12th which is a day of service. I say keep them separate, the 11th has to be a stand alone day of remembrance as we have so many who were there, have family or friends who were affected, or continue to work to prevent further acts of terrorism. There are already politicians and Union leaders using Sept. 11th as a launching pad for their own petty reasons! Enough of that B.S. already- we need to remember and never forget. I hope the weekend goes well for you, enjoy your family and friends and weather as much as possible!
On to other things. If I haven't been clear, my ride during the past six weeks has mirrored the stock market, or maybe more precisely the normal ALL cancer story. My official second relapse began around July 15, 2011. I noticed a small lump growing on my head above the right eye. The PA thought it should be watched, but not too closely so we went on our merry way which included traveling to Oregon for Alicia's wedding, a side trip to Bend for R&R, then a road trip to Utah, Colorado and Nebraska. Eventually in Utah things got a lot worse so we turned for home. Aug 1 we learned the bump was a lymphoma (tumor) in and outside of my skull/brain. I had two more along the spine at C-3 and T-10. So we drove back to Tacoma in a day and I did three weeks of out-patient radiation. After three weeks, more problems occurred so that was stopped a couple of days short. The Dr. moved me to a new Chemo protocol that I started September 1. Phase 1 of the chemo (MOAD) will finish Sept 15 and 16. There might be a second phase depending on how I finish the first. So far the first phase HAS KICKED MY A%&! But now I am calmer and hopeful it will improve. Yvonne has been through hell as well, having to drive me around for it seems like at least 30 days to medical appointments, treatments, and for the first time today- an actual visit to the good folks in SeaTac on our way to Lunch.
My prognosis- I am alive, still with some active cancer and after a second relapse in a short time frame things are not as good as they were prior to relapsing. Each of those relapses compounds the situation almost exponentially. From here on out after I get to remission I need to stay there! I hope you like the photos from around the yard, even with our hot streak Yvonne has done a wonderful job of keeping things looking nice!
This is a tough one. Since my first diagnosis of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia in October of 2009 the realities of this disease have hit me, but usually from afar. Just under a month ago we lost a good man to this disease, a man who I had the pleasure to meet and share a laugh only ALL patients can. This tribute goes out to a good man whose memorial service was held on Sunday September 4th. It was also his birthday. I met Andrei Bazdyrev in January of 2011 when my cancer had relapsed and Andrei was in the hospital going through Chemo-therapy. I noticed Andrei walking the halls of the tenth floor cancer ward at St. Joseph's, a place too many of us learn too well. For the first time in my visits to a few hospitals I thought I detected a kindred spirit. You do a lot of walking and thinking when you reside on the 10th floor of St. Joseph's in Tacoma, or on the 8th floor at the University of Washington Medical Center. Most of the patients at least give it the old college try to keep active and walk a bit. A lot of the patients spend more time with family or are bed ridden due to the difficulties of a lot of the cancers. Andrei was different, I saw him walking at the same clip and as much on day one as day four. Another lesson that comes from hospitalizations is that most patients and family prefer privacy. I will admit that I fall into that "prefer privacy" world myself, maybe for different reasons. Deep down though I secretly hoped for some human contact with fellow patients to be able to discuss our cancer experience, heck even politics or religion would have been O.K. Sometimes it takes divine intervention to intercede. Let's just say that the intervention occurred and we met. In our first meeting I discovered Andrei was going through the same Hyper C-Vad chemo for the same rare cancer that I was fighting. He was already very educated about treatment options, bone marrow transplant, and alternative medicine. We continued to talk after one of us left the floor, it seemed we alternated our residency. I remember the joy when Andrei introduced us to Stephanie and reported that there was only a small amount of residual disease- he was going down the road to a bone marrow transplant and probably the best chance for long term remission or cure. Then it happened. The disease took over quickly, blasts killed good cells, and Andrei was gone. There are other diseases, accidents, and many good people leave us way too early. If there is any silver lining with today's posting, it is that there is always a chance to leave a legacy. Andrei's gifts were shared with all who attended his memorial service, listened to his music, cared for him as only St. Joseph's nurses and staff can, or had the pleasure to meet or work with him during his life. We can all learn from Andrei. It's all about how we treat people. In the meantime check out Andrei (on the right, recorded in July 2011) and friend singing about one of the obvious truisms out there...
The title means just that, it is 3:34 AM and Robert Lamm of Chicago Transit Authority was trying to write a song in the Sunset Strip area of Los Angeles in 1970. Fast forward 41 years and I was wide awake for reasons that have become second nature to me at 3:34 AM myself- I found a song to go with my post based on time! Chicago began their big professional career as the Chicago Transit Authority, then shortened it to Chicago out of pure show business need. The video and one of the greatest guitar solos ever recorded features Terry Kath who shortly after this concert would accidentally shoot and kill himself. Peter Cetera was the lead vocal and went on to one of those great balladeer solo careers. Robert Lamm is still touring with the band. Sue Reppen gets to see them soon as do I when Chicago comes to the Puyallup Fair Sept 13.
I had two bad days of excruciating pain in most of my joints, wrists, arms elbows, knees, Tuesday and Wednesday this week to go along with finding a small new bump on my head just above the tumor being radiated. It caused some extra concern as some of these pains in the past have indicated relapse. So as Ronald Reagan said to Jimmy Carter I will say to Leukemia: "There you go again." and hope like Ronald I am right and Jimmy is wrong. To be as prepared as possible Dr. Senecal suggested we start chemo early (today) anyway. Part of the protocol is to take a heavy dose of dexamethasone, another heavy duty streroid like prednisone. It has me just a little wired as I write this. I will infuse methotrexate this morning and learn the rest of the chemo protocol too. I thought I would share some old photos of me, Alan my baby brother, and Cathy my Angelic sister. Enjoy a laugh on me!
