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| Sadie saying "No, I won't retrieve." |
During the past two-plus weeks we thought that we would be following the sun just as Paul and the Beatles recorded in 1964. Paul actually wrote the song in 1959 and the group waited until their fourth U.K. album Beatles for Sale to release it. It was placed on Beatles '65 in the U.S.A. A love song... sort of. Paul was relating that he would follow the sun if his relationship didn't work out. The Beatles wrote more than their share of selfish male dominated songs in the early days, the times they sure have changed since the early 60's.
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| Snow Angel to calm a fever |
Our recent journey was looking to follow a similar route (Sun), first we traveled to what was supposed to be sunny Colorado, warm Houston, interrupted by always nice San Diego- oops back to Seattle. Colorado was snowy and cloudy during our entire visit, Houston was down pouring rain and unseasonably cool, then when Dad and his heart brought us to San Diego we finally saw the sun. It was very nice our entire week in SD. Of course I was not in fine form during any of the journey. Most recently I developed either a bad cold or worse- I am not really sure but the pains and stuffiness continue. In Colorado and Houston I was having problems walking and with fatigue. My fatigue levels have improved but my left leg/hip pains have continued and are worse. I didn't really explain what occurred to put a crimp in our plans either. While still in Houston waiting for the next tests Dad had a heart attack. We made plans with the Doctor and her staff in Houston to accommodate a side trip to San Diego and thought everything was moving forward. During our visit with the Doctor she said something that made us both think. She said something like "I need to check and see if they are still accepting people in the study." Yvonne and I exchanged a glance but did kept quiet as we continued the discussion. I thought she meant that one of the two studies might be problematic, but not a sure no-go. After more discussions about whether I had cancer or not??? and how the upcoming testing would determine or prove that (again ???) we left the meeting after 6PM at the end of a very long day. I eventually got my bearings when we got to San Diego and e mailed the doctor with a yes-no question. Her reply was a little more clear, but still not yes or no. I followed up with another message as making travel plans and the logistics were very difficult for us. She finally told me that there were no openings in either study and suggested I wait for three weeks (if someone leaves I could enter) or perhaps I could return home to receive more standard treatments while I wait. My reply was easy- I returned home. I can't tell you how disappointed we both were, many people contributed funds to help us go to Houston to enter what I was told were one of two studies. To have the dream crushed made me feel a failure on top of having worsening health problems. Luckily we were not maxed out financially, just emotionally.
There is some good news. I received my bone marrow biopsy results from Houston, showing around 1% blasts- a number that normal people have. Little or no cancer in the marrow means that my relapse is lymphoma (if anything) based instead of leukemic. I still have some lymphoma lesions in my stomach area and I suspect my left leg and hip... My way of staying true to my supporters is to commit to further research to find a clinical trial or alternative treatments. So far I have found potential trials at Stanford U. and maybe one in Seattle at the Hutch. I will expand my search to include the Caribbean and Hawaii- but will not hold my breath on those! We see my ARNP tomorrow and we are hopeful that we will come up with a plan for the near term. Please enjoy the video, it has real good early Beatles content. Live Happy in the snow or in the sun.
