Cinnamon Girl

April 2011 hike with Sadie and Andrew

I had a dream the other night, Neil Young and "Cinnamon Girl" were part of the dream.   As usual, there are a few degrees of separation from Neil Young, and in this case The Beatles and Paul McCartney.   Neil's iconic 1970 rock classic is rumored to be about a few women, the most probable real life muse was a woman who is Paul McCartney's current guitarist (Brian Ray)'s sister,  Jean Ray.   Jean infatuated a young Neil in the way she played finger cymbals and sang in a folk duo in 1960's California.   Neil might have taken some of the lyrics from other women he had encountered,  in the end he wrote a song about love at first sight.   Here is the simple but profound opening line: "I want to live with a Cinnamon Girl   I could be happy the rest of my life with a Cinnamon Girl."   Neil is a dreamer, and he often expressed dreams in his lyrics.   The attached video is of 53 year old Susanna Hoffs (80's group The Bangles) and Matthew Sweet covering Cinnamon Girl.

My dream was partly about my wife Yvonne and all she has done in for me since we were married in 1982.   To add to the routine,  since my diagnosis in October 2009 Yvonne has taken over all of the difficult household duties. She does that while also adding the role of care giver, continuing to work part-time as a Physical Therapist Assistant, gardener, dog sitter, athlete, confidant and friend.   As an example, we spent all day at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center yesterday, Yvonne kept me on schedule, she asked the right questions when I forgot something, and shared the good with the bad with me.   We were hopeful that Dr. Flowers and the experts at the long term follow up Unit would offer us a good alternative to my current no-mans-land feeling.   That didn't happen, I was probably a little depressed as one of the tumors continues to grow and change shape on my stomach and the best we got was "Don't give up."   "While you fight maybe medical science will find something for you."   If I didn't feel pretty good I would probably be a head case.   I needed someone- Yvonne was there.   I know I take a lot for granted including Yvonne- thank God I still have time to make a change. 

I will go into more detail about some more good things Yvonne and I are up to soon, as we look forward to the weekend of the Big Climb and visiting with my donor Edie, ECC and cousin Arlene.   

My dream continued... about 31 years ago I saw my Cinnamon Girl sitting at a table waiting for someone to ask her to dance.  She said yes, and about a year later I married her. The dream meandered forward to the future, we were at a wedding or a party and re-lived a similar situation but we were a bit older maybe in our 60's.   I have hope, mainly because I know Yvonne will say yes if I ask her to dance.